Week 2 Recap
WEEK 2 RECAP
"An Ode to Football (MyButthole)"
My football teams makes me cry
All I see is bones
I hate the Giants and the Noles
But mostly Aaron Jones
Big Blue left 11 points on the board
Please fire Mike Norvell
I'm so pissed I lost at Fantasy
I'd rather burn in hell
Now that I'm done crying, let's recap week 2:
This one went from looking like it was coming down to the wire, to looking like a blowout, to coming down to the wire again but swinging the other way. Donny came back and crushed me by the second quarter of the Monday night game with 38.5 from Aaron Jones. With another 22 thanks to Matt Ryan throwing tuddies to the Bucs defense, he didn't need much from the rest of his team to beat me by a little more than a hair. Even while getting double digits from half my team and 21.4 from Kelce, the touchdown taken away from Julio (which should've counted goddamn it) sunk me in the end.
Fuck This Man
Return of the Fupa Party (136.44) v Robby Anderson WR1 (128.56)
This matchup was our slug fest of the week, with Martin coming barely coming out on top even with his complete lack of confidence in his team this week. Payne arguably had the better team performance overall, with more than half of his team churning out double digits. Mike Evans led the way for Payne with 22 (Brady loves those 1 yard tuddies to the boy) but Martin sped away with the win thanks to FUCKING 47.7 from Derrick Henry and close to Thirty from Brady. Is this the return that the Fupa party envisioned?
They found love in a hopeless place
Omalu's Future Patients (101.26) v Losing Season, Drinking Reason (89.88)
The lowest scoring game of the week was actually projected to be super close at the start of the Sunday night game, but defenses guarding Mark Andrews tighter this year spelled bad news for Gordo's team in the end. Jackson got decent returns from some of this team with double digit scores, but was led to the promised land at the end of the day thanks to 33.26 from Lamar. Gordon's highest scorer was Brandin Cooks (yikes) with 18.3, but the rest of his star players couldn't live up to their expectations for him this week.
Gordo rn
Show me your TDs (141.2) v Brother Decotis Lives (105.7)
The highest scorer this week was Payton, who crushed Tuna this week to move to 2-0. He got more than 20 from 3 of his players (ARodg, Kupp and Zach Wilson being terrible), showing his team can be very formidable when Aaron Rodgers isn't actively trying to get traded. Tuna had his stars balling as usual, Murray was the highest scorer in this matchup with 36.1 and CMC got him 22.2, but he only had a few other players in double digits. Payton had more than half of his team in double digits and marched on to victory pretty early in the day Sunday.
Where did he come from
Non-Fungible Team (134.6) v Dawson's Zeke (113.12)
In a battle to see who would fall to 0-2, Robby's team showed consistency that wasn't there week 1, with all of his skill players scoring a touchdown other than Pitts. Led by a 23.2 performance on Thursday night from Scary Terry (wasn't the giant's defense supposed to be good?) and another 21.8 from young Jalen Hurts, Robby's entire team crushed it this week after being the lowest overall scorer just a week ago. Ira's team put up respectable numbers with Zeke, Baker, and Thielen giving him double digits on the back of a 25 point performance by the fucking Bills D. But alas, double digits from Rob's entire team (the only players who didn't had 9) didn't leave Ira with even a semblance of a prayer.
Scary Terry taking Ira for ride
Sean Paul's Naughty Shawty's (136.52) v Orchids of Asia (117.42)
In a battle of the highest scoring loser and winner from a week ago, the loser came out on top. Camm was already in a good place with Thursday night with his leading scorer Gano popping off to the tune of 27 points. I mean good god he outscored Mahomes who had 24. Schmaus put up a really good fight with 25.32 from Wilson and his favorite receiver on the day Lockett with almost 30. But while he had a few more high scorers, his duds like Kamara with 5 ended up crippling him, while Camm was able to ride a consistent performance of double digits from more than half of his team for the win.
I GOT DA RIGHT TEMPERATURE TO SHELTER YOU FROM DA STORM
WEEKLY POWER RANKINGS:
1. Show Me Your TD's (Payton) 2-0: Not only is Payton one of the three 2-0 teams, his team looks set in all positions going forward. With the emergence of Cooper Kupp and the dominance of Dalvin, this team is set well to make the playoffs. Can he finally grab that elusive championship or will one bad week break him?
2. Orchids of Asia (Schmaus) 1-1: While falling last week, Schmaus is still well set to grab a playoff spot this year. Fueled essentially by the Seahawks, Raiders, and Steeler's performances, his Seahawks stack is actually pretty scary with the way that offense likes to throw. But will his reliance on a few teams performances ultimately hurt him in the long run?
3. Sean Paul's Naughty Shawties (Camm) 1-1: Another 1-1 record taking a high spot on the rankings, Camm's team is solid all the way around. While his depth is a concern, his TE woes of week 1 looks to be taking a positive turn now that Rodgers is lacking weapons. While his team able to stay consistent all the way to the finals or will he be calling this another fluke season when he loses?
4. The Leftovers IR (Donny) 2-0 : While looking at Donny's team on the app looks good, one would wonder if some players on his team will ever be able to put up their porjected points. Don has a hot start to the season, but it's hard to see any of his skill players staying consistent other than Aaron Jones. In a league where defense and kicking are super fucking important, can Donny ride two of the best to a championship with Jones like I did last year?
5. Omalu's Future Patients (Jackson) 2-0 : The last undefeated team in the league takes 5th for two reasons, least point against and being in the bottom half for points scored. Hey, luck is a huge part of fantasy football but if his team performances stay the same, his luck might run out soon. He had a strong team to start but injuries have been holding him back a bit, can his team finally live up to it's potential?
6. Brother Decotis Lives (Tuna) 1-1 : It's honestly fucking scary going up against CMC and Kyler every week, but thankfully the rest of his team is living up to the early season hype. If his skill players start to get going like they did last season, this team will easily find themselves in the playoffs, but will Tuna's lack of running back depth (or starting running backs at all) end up costing him?
7. Fuck You Cammarn Vol.2 (Kamesh) 1-1 : While I was projected to be in the playoffs after the draft, the loss of Gus Edwards has hurt my prospects a bit. While there are a few players on my team that I expect to remain consistent throughout the season, much like Tuna my running back depth leaves something to be desired. Will my big names be able to score enough points weekly to keep me in the race or will I follow up my championship season by missing the playoffs entirely?
8. Return of the Fupa Party (Martin) 1-1 : Martin is already plugging players in and out of his lineup to see what'll work, never a good sign. But what is a good sign is the Brady Gronk stack and Derrick Henry last week. If two-two train and the lovers can keep it up, Marty might have a shot at glory once again. But can he really depend on three players to keep him alive all season?
9. Robby Andersen WR1 (Payne) 0-2 : The first winless team on the rankings, Payne's team looks better than his record suggests. His lineup is stacked on paper, but as we can see, a few bad performances can really fuck you if your opponents team is playing consistently. Will Payne's team be able to repeat their performances from last year or will a down year from some superstars end his season before it ever really starts?
10. Non- Fungible Team (Robby) 1-1 : Rob's team is kind of hard to pin down, but what I can see is that ll of his starters play for bad teams. Sure this might lead to garbage time points propelling him to victory, but other than McLaurin, this team does not look like it has what it takes to get to the playoffs. Will Barkley shake off his shittyness and become the fantasy god that he was before? Robby's hopes depend on it.
11. Dawson's Zeke (Ira) 0-2 : This team looks like a championship team from 3 years ago. Names that have done well in the past but will not be giving you double digits every week in this day and age. With the way his team has played so far, it doesn't look like Ira has any bona-fide stars, but will his team be able to score enough to surprise us all?
12. Losing Season Drinking Reason (Gordo) 0-2 : Losing Season indeed. Not only does he has to suffer as a giants/noles fan like me, but his team also looks like it has no hope. Granted the colts could get better and Taylor could pop off and the giants might finally use Golladay, but his team does not look like it has it what it takes depth wise to make it out of the hole he is already in. Will Gordo be able to use the waiver wire and trades to revamp his team for a late season push?
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