Week 8 Recap

Week 8 Recap

Remember when I said that the teams that weren't doing well were due to make a comeback? Well comeback season is cancelled cause the rich keep getting richer. The top teams seem like they are essentially playing for playoff season while the dumpster boys just keep pushing each other down to try and climb out. The injury bug continues to be in full swing, but even more annoying is fucking players testing positive for Big Rona. Will these factor into our league as the season winds down? Or are playoffs already set. Fuck if I know, but being 2-6, definitely hoping for the former. Now, as a wise rapper once said: ESSKEETIT.

Sean Paul's Naughty Shawtys (93.7) v Fuck You Cammarn Vol.2 (86.66)

Ah yes, another loss, wonderful. This one actually ended up being alot closer than it should have, with Camm putting up his lowest point total of the season. But it didn't matter cause he was playing my shitty team. While I had more consistent scorers overall, Camm was able to ride big games from Ekeler and Melvin Gordon to take me down. It came down to the Monday night game, where Devontae Booker couldn't find the end zone, and Gano saving Mahomes shitty performance gave Camm the win in the end.

Applicable to me and the shitty G-Men

Orchids of Asia (130.2) v Dawson's Zeke (92.12)

Gonna finally stop dunking on Ira. Not cause I feel bad, but because the fantasy gods just seem to want to fuck him. He started strong with a big game from Robert Woods and looked like he might eke out his first win of the season. But as soon as Michael Carter started to ball out, it was all over for Ira. Schmuas got huge games from the aforementioned Carter, Kamara, and his Seahawks receiving duo. It looked good for Schmi for about 2 quarters on Sunday before Schmaus' boys came out to play.

Someone check on Ira

Kupp the Balls (101.96) v Non-Fungible Team (67.02)

Talk about a stomping. Robby had a good game early from Darrel Henderson, but that was about it, with Hurts not doing well in fantasy due to the fact that he wasn't capitalizing on garbage time, and a -7 from the Chiraq defense. Even with an Emmanuel Sanders goose egg, Payton still has the two best receivers in the league for fantasy right now. Kupp and Deebo both went for over 20 to compensate, and the rest of his team playing consistently meant bad new for Rob for yet another week. 

Robby watching his team this week

Extra cause this is the epitome of Payton's team

Losing Season, Drinking Reason (107.5) v Brother Decotis Lives (90.76)

I fucking hate picturing Decotis every week when I do a write-up, SUGGEST you change your team name Tune. Also SUGGEST that you trade for some running backs, cause 3.4 points total from your starters is Bad News Bears indeed. Gordo had 5 players in double digits to take down Tune, and even though he had a couple of good scorers (Aj Brown had close to 30), there doesn't seem to be enough in the tank to really look at this team as a contender. Gordon meanwhile continues to surprise by staying alive in the playoff race.

Tune's sick of the suggestions

Omalu's Future Patients (133.7) v Robby Anderson WR1 (96.66)

Look at all my shittalk on Jackson's team backfiring. While he seemed to be getting lucky with his matchups towards the beginning of the season, his team has been going off recently. While this week he had another great performance from Cheetah, his fill-in QB Stafford and Godwin both produced over 20 points as well. Payne had great performances from part of his team (Josh Allen 29.46 yowza), he had too many players put up less than 10 to be able to catch up to Jackson this week.

I take it back, Jackson's team is good

Return of the Fupa Party (116.9) v The Leftovers IR (106.52)

Man if I was Donny I'd be fuming. The Fupa party lost one of their two big scorers in Henry, but the rest of the team showed up to produce this week. He had a couple of bad scorers but with Brady, Pittman, and ELijah Mitchell scoring 20 or more and his defense and kicker putting up double digits as well, Marty prolly felt pretty good about the performance. Donny also got over 20 from his RB corps and Amari Cooper, but a goose egg from MVS and a negative performance from the Bucs D ended up sinking him. What a fucking hearbreaker. 

I feel the pain Don

POWER RANKINGS

On this week's edition of power rankings, we ask relevant questions about each teams roster now that injuries and Covid have fucked all of us. 

1. Sean Paul's Naughty Shawties (7-1), Does Camm have the WR depth for a chamiopnship?

Camm takes this spot cause Marty's best player is dead, but it's hard to see him continuing his dominance with his group of wideouts. Davante is as solid as ever, but Tee Higgins and Courtland Sutton are too inconsistent week by week, could end up costing him in the playoffs.

2. Return of the Fupa Party (7-1), What does Marty do without his star?

The king is dead (figuratively) and Martin might not have enough in the tank to keep up his crazy performances. He doesn't lack running back depth, but without one of his stars he might barely squeak into the playoffs if this week is any indication. 

3. Omalu's Future Patients (6-2), Can Snakely's team replicate the performances from the past couple of weeks?

Jacksons team has been balling for the past two weeks, but as I've noted before he was being blessed by the fantasy gods eking out wins against shitty teams in the beginning of the year. He has some good players and is hoping that they continue their dominance, but it's too early too tell (Godwin hasn't done shit till now so maybe his players are just getting more looks than before).

4. Kupp the Balls (5-3), Will more of Payton's players end up dying?

Payton keeps chugging on slightly, but the bug that hit him early in the season seems to keep on prevailing with Rodger's on the Covid list. Payton's team will be scary in the playoffs, but it remains to be seen what team he'll even be fielding if he makes it. 

5. Orchids of Asia (6-2), Can Schmaus' RB's keep up the pace?

Schmaus is already scary with the Seahawks stack and Russel probably coming back soon, but his RB situation is less sexy. DOn't get me wring, Schmaus has an amazing RB in Kamara, but otherwise he needs Michael Carter or maybe Kenyan Drake to keep up the pace the've been on. It's possible, but if any of his RBs can't keep up the pace, he might be in more of a pickle than just Russ being injured

6. Losing Season, Drinking Reason (4-4), Can Gordo's all-stars come through in the clutch?

Gordo has some good players on his team, no doubt. But when they perform is up for debate. Gordo was in the cellar when Taylor and Mark Andrews were doing bad, and he really needs to ride those two to make sure he can nab a playoff spot. if either of them falter it's bad news for Gordo's playoff aspirations.

7. The Leftovers IR (4-4), What the fuck happened to Donny's team?

Donny was balling with the best record and top spot in the power rankings not too long ago, now he's on the outside looking in for a playoff spot. His RBs are awesome, but the rest of his team is so goddamn inconsistent that it leaves us and him wondering if he can salvage his season. 

8. Brother Decotis Lives, (4-4) Will CMC come back to save Tune's season?

Tuna is desperately in need of some running back support with CMC and Hunt going down early in the season. Hunt is hit or miss being the second running back in Cleveland, but CMC is a game changer. He could single-handedly win Tune games down the streth, but without him AJ Brown is his only all-star, dimming his hope quite a bit.

9. Robby Anderson WR1 (2-6), Can Josh Allen carry Payne's team?

Allen is one of the best Qbs in fantasy, but other than that he has to rely on Nick Chubb and Cordarelle Patterson week by week. Those are great players, but to be fair the only one who has been scoring points week in and out for his team. He scores alot of points but it seems like get's dunked on every week, so Allen's dual threat might be the only thing keeping him from Waffle House. 

10. Fuck You Cammarn Vol.2 (2-6), Will Daddy's team stop underperforming?

If playoffs started right now I would be ahead of Payne based on our week 1 matchup, but it doesn't really matter cause we both suck ass. My team has consistently underperformed every single week, and it doesn't help that my RB injuries have been mounting up since draft day. TEs might be important parts of any league, but me taking one in the first round fucked the rest of my team immensely.

11. Non-Fungible Team, (1-7), Can garbage time save Robby from Waffle House?

Robby has some good players on his team that can pop off for 20 any given week. But unfortunately the only one who does consistently is Jalen Hurts...when the Eagles are getting cucked. Otherwise his team is failing him, names filled with nostalgia but not offering substance week-in, week-out. He needs to pray to the fantasy gods to avoid last place.

12. Dawson's Zeke (0-8), Can Schmi get a win?

This team does not look good. Woods has finally started playing up to his draft stock, but he has shown he can't be consistent. Even Zeke has been kind of dogshit other than a few select weeks. Adam Thielen has been balling, but if that is the all-star he has leading his team, this could get uglier before it starts getting any better. 

Well. I've been using my closing statement in the past to speak into existence the gutter teams taking some big boys down, but it's not looking plausible. We still have 6 weeks left to the season, and anything can happen. But unless the injuries and covid deficiencies strike the best teams soon (Marty might be vulnerable), it looks like multiple dogfights are about to happen. One for the playoff seeding, another for the final two playoff spots, and finally the dogfight to avoid Waffle house, this shit is gonna be entertaining AF. What makes things especially spicy this week is that everyone is brawling with someone in their metaphorical fantasy weight class as rankings stand. I hate you all (fantasy-wise), but at least my name is on that fucking trophy. I will always be eternal, Marty too (You don't wanna be like Camm and get your first name on the Dickdawg in sad fashion) so the real question is...which one of you cucks thinks you have what it takes to join us on Mount Olympus?

Week 9 Matchups:

Fuck You Cammarn Vol.2 v Dawson's Zeke

Kupp the Balls v Sean Paul's Naughty Shawtys

Losing Season, Drinking Reason v Orchids of Asia

Robby Anderson WR1 v Non-Fungible Team

The Leftovers IR v Brother Decotis Lives

Return of the Fupa Party v Omalu's Future Patients