22/23 Week 2 Recap
I like to think that I know alot about sports, football most of all. But guessing what is gonna happen in a season is always a tough venture, and by week 2 of the season I am already stunned, bewildered, ecstatic, and scared. Unlike last season where an unforeseen sense of parity reigned throughout the league, this year people were just wrong about some teams. Like how in the dick are the Colts so bad? But I don't have room for complaints on the NFL, Giants are 2-0 baby. But I can complain about King Henry who has fuggin sucked so far this season. That can be said about alot of first round picks, showing that this fantasy season might be even harder to predict than who will win the super bowl (Bills look scary). Still too early to call but some teams looks like they might need to make trades immediately to keep some semblance of competitiveness while others look built to thrive. I don't know about you guys, but I'm saying my prayers to the fantasy gods nightly, let they bless my mess. Lets take a gander at the matchups this week:
Fuck You Cammarn Vol.2-Mesh (149.42) v Team Coughlin-Meg (73.26)
Good god I lapped him. While Keenan Allen was out and Henry didn't do jack shit, the ravens game itself gave me my win over Meg, with Lamar going crazy and Andrews finally delivering a good performance for me. Meg has 2 good running backs but only Swift wants to perform and he has poopoo wide receiver depth. My depth came to save me with both my top WRs out, with Christian Kirk looking like he deserves the money the jags gave him.
Martins Sweat Box-Trev (124.98) v Return of the Fupa Party-Martinez (94.68)
The other league rookie is off to a fast start, which is surprising cause he said he didn't know how to play fantasy. But here he is, pulling out a win against a former champion. He could have dominated but I dont think anyone expected Tua to throw 6 tuddies. But it didn't matter as he had huge showings from Chubb, Mike Williams and Gano (gotta love the kicking and defensive points in our league). Marty took advantage of the defensive scoring with the eagles, but that was about it. Sure Wentz scored a bunch of points, but his skill positions are letting him down. He needs the rest of his team to support CMC and his random plug and plays or he might be cucked.
Snake Island Serpentines-Yake Yackson (137.8) v Losing Season, Drinking Reason-Gordo (81.26)
This game honestly looked close for a long time before Stefon Diggs teabagged the Titan's secondary. Jackson didn't get a whole lot from most of his team but it didnt matter, almost 40 from Diggs and 26 from the bills defense had him rolling on Monday night. Gordo's team just didn't perform up to their standard this week, with injuries and a dogshit JTay performance not giving him much to work with this week.
Brother Decotis Lives-Tunechi (145.5) v Help Me-PayPay (124.18)
This was quite a battle on Sunday, being the highest overall scoring matchup of the week. Both teams had solid games from their flex players, defenses, and kickers, all grabbing close to 15 a piece. But it came downb to huge games from just a few players on each team to turn the tide. While Payton may have had more consistent scoring and huge games from Kyler and Chubb, Tuna's boys fucking ATE. 27 from Kupp and almost 40 from Cheetah is an insurmountable mountain to climb for any team.
Non-Fungible Team-Rob (124.22) v Dawson's Zeke-Ira (116.58)
Schmi can't catch a break. He had at least double digit showings from many players on his team and a whopping 34 from the Bucs D. He even had Josh Allen playing Monday, but a goose-egg from his TE didn't do him any favors. Tee Higgins and Drake London (smart play from Rob) were his only huge scorers until Daddy Jalen came to play. A huge 34 point game and a negative game script for his own players downed Ira in the end, as the Bills were winning so bad that they didn't have alot of their starters playing in the 4th. Ira's been skipping his prayer time.
Sean Paul's Naughty Shawties-Marn (122.6) v Orchids of Asia- Schmausy (115.56)
What a barn-burner. WRs are king this year, evident by the 35 and change that Amon Ra and Waddle put up for each team. The rest of the game was as close as can be and looked like it could go either way for a while. But it seems like the straw that broke the camel's back was Cam's kicker (Mcmanus) having almost 14 points more than Michael's (that felt weird to say). Fine margins will make or break you in this league, and Cam took advantage of a shitty Broncos offense to power himself to a win.
POWER RANKINGS
1. Snake Island Serpentines, 2-0 (LW:2) Jahan Dotson
Snakely takes the top spot this week, with a vicious performance from Diggs taking him over thee line. He has a team that can have a new top scorer every week, but Dotson might be a league winner. The popular week 1 waiver wire pickup has already shown to be a trusted target for Wentz. No matter how bad the Football Team looks, (I honestly still like that more than Commanders) Dotson looks like a lock to hit pay-dirt week to week.
2. Martins Sweat Box, 2-0, (LW:4) Tua Tagavailoa
Trevor keeps ascending, the rookie picking up another win on the strength of his positional players. Noone in the world drafted Tua to be their actual starter, and after his performance last week, he looks destined for stardom. This is always truly based on whether Tua can stay consistent, but if he can, this late-round pick will look genius.
3. Non-Fungible Team, 2-0, (LW:3) Drake London
Rob wins again and keeps his spot in the rankings. He has a great team and insane depth, but Drake London looks like he can be a league winner. 5+ receptions per game for the rookie shows that he already has the trust of Mariota, and if he keeps hauling in targets he could be a scary bench play for Rob. Sucks for Kyle Pitts fans doe.
4. Fuck You Cammarn Vol.2, 1-1, (LW:5) Christian Kirk
I slide up a spot with not only my first win but the highest scoring total so far this season. While not all of my star players have shown up this season, a bright spot has been Christian Kirk. He was paid like a #1 receiver this year and they are making sure that they throw to him as much as possible. After multiple double digit games, if the Jags are actually good, Kirk could be a diamond in the rough.
5. Sean Paul's Naughty Shawties, 2-0, (LW:7) Amon-Ra St.Brown
Camm doesn't have that much depth to speak of so I'm going with the Sun God because of how much he will outperform his ADP. Usually drafted as a flex receiver, he has been popping off all season, and looks to be listed among some of the best receivers in the NFL even though he plays for the fucking Lions.
6.Losing Season, Drinking Reason, 1-1, (LW:1) Rashod Bateman
Hard fall for Gordo, he needed his stars to pick him up week 2 and noone showed up at all. But his lone bright spot was Rashod Bateman, who is playing like a true #1 receiver for the Ravens. If Batman can keep up his big plays then he could soar in the middle of the season. But the Raven's #1 is Mark Andrews, and it'll be curious to see of Bateman can continue outrunning cornerbacks all season.
7. Brother Decotis Lives, 1-1, (LW:10) Devonta Smith
Tuna got back to winning ways this week, but in the same case as Camm, his potential winner is a little more established. But even for a first round pick last year, the eagles didn't seem to want to use Devonta week 1. But the chemistry between him and Hurts was evident Monday night. If teams start to finally cover AJ Brown more thoroughly, Devonta might become a new favorite target for Jalen.
8. Help Me, 1-1, (LW:8) Cordarelle Patterson
Payton keeps his spot this in this weeks rankings because of his high point output, but the question is whether it is sustainable. He has hella wideouts, but it looks like Jones will have to have a game like he did Monday every week for his RB room to stay consistent. If Patterson can live up to his ADP, then PayPay's team should see a steady climb in the rankings in the weeks to come.
9. Orchids of Asia, 0-2, (LW:11) James Robinson
So Schmaus might have lost another game but he rises slightly in the rankings, hanging out of the dumpster. This is strictly because Waddle is a monster and might end up winning games for him single-handedly as the year goes on. But James Robinson could end up saving Schmaus too, as everyone thought he was demoted and his ADP does not reflect his true value. Schmaus saw the value though and might benefit greatly because of it.
10. Team Coughlin, 0-2, (LW:6) Zach Ertz
This exercise got alot harder the lower I went and now we find ourselves in the dumpster. Meg needs to make serious changes to make an impact this season, and I choose Ertz only because most people drafted him as a second TE because of his injury history and not knowing whether he and Kyler would mesh. But there is definite chemistry there, and Ertz could end up being a valuable flex play late in the season if Kittle ends up coming back to life for Megan.
11. Dawson's Zeke, 0-2, (LW:9) Miles Sanders
Ira is in the dumpster this week but can see a way out on the horizon. This week we can chalk down to bad luck if we want to, but we cannot forget the losing streak that Ira is on. Sanders was a late RB pickup for most but after last night looks to have forced his way into Ira's starting lineup week to week (cause Buffalo's RB#1 is Josh Allen). If he continues to get solid usage maybe Ira can finally fucking win a game, but might have to hope for a good game script like the second half yesterday.
12. Return of the Fupa Party, 0-2, (LW:12) Treylon Burks
Rough for Marty at the bottom of the rankings again. While his main team looks washed (lol @Pitts), Burks has been a nice sight on his bench. The titans drafted this guy to replace AJ Brown, so I see it likely that he leads the team in targets. But with how shitty Tannehill is, he is gonna need to play like AJ sooner than later if Marty hopes to get good numbers out of him.
Alot of season left to be played boys, by the crazy changes in the rankings you can see that anything can happen, but as Payton mentioned today, we don't make a ton of trades as a league. Probably cause we all hate each other and don't want to see each other happy. But trades might need to fly to separate the men from the boys this season. Hope to see you all tumble down the rankings again and hope for another Giants and FSU victory this week (like I havent had either team be halfway decent in years I know Gordo is as torqued as I am). Fuck you all and as always, Fuck You Cammarn (Vol.2).
Week 3 Matchups
Mesh v Marty
Jake v Megan
Tuna v Trevor
Robby v Gordon
Schmaus v Payton
Cammarn v Ira
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