22/23 Week 4 Recap
No preamble this week, I've speculated enough over the past couple of weeks about everything and nothing at the same time. And I'm drunk. To Les Matchups we go...
Fuck You Cammarn Vol.2 (108.46) v Snake Island Serpentines (108.3)
I turned the game off on Monday for a while and during a late drive said to my friends the only way I win is if Stafford throws a pick-six to give me a favorable game script. Stafford threw a pick-six, Aiyuk didn't catch another ball, and I won by two yards. Margins boys, margins. For both being towards the top of the standings, we both deserved to win and both deserved to lose. My Ravens stack let me down (as well as the rest of my receivers), but my rbs, defense and kicker showed out this week to get me over the hump. Jackson's team was floundering early Sunday but Davante, TB12 and fucking CEH all popped off late to put him very close to me. But fantasy is a motherfucker as we all know (Meg is learning this fact very quickly).
Brother Decotis Lives (144.56) v Return of the Fupa Party (108.02)
Marty finally proved his team can score points somewhat, Unfortunately for him, Tune scored more. Mahomie, Reek, and Cupp are gonna show out more weeks than not, but holy shit Josh Jacobs finally proved he can play with over 30 points. The Phili defense once again popped off for Marty, but holy shit is his team injured. McAffrey finally produced and Jared Goff balled (mentioning once agin that Marty is streaming quarterbacks (oof)). But Javonte Williams is dead and Kyle Pitts might as well be for fantasy purposes. If the Philly defense doesn't start scoring at least 50 points a game, Marty is in for some dogs and beers.
Non-Fungible Team (123.16) v Team Coughlin (57.76)
Who else is flying to Jacksonville with me for when Meg has to do the punishment (LFG Jumbo Shrimp)? He literally has one person who can consistenly put up double digits, and Swift was injured. If his team doesn;t look different by next week then he might become the taco of our league. Rob had decent games from Hurts (who has been carrying him) and Mixon, but it was huge games from Tee Higgins and fucking useless usually Tj Hockensen to put up huge points this week. Not that it mattered, Meg's highest scorer this week didn't even have double digits. Boo this man.
Martin's Sweat Box (132.7) v Orchids of Asia (108.84)
First off, I hope Tua is okay, that was fucking scary and as much as I hate Alabama that man has always been a class act. Trevor's might have been scared after Thursday with his QB1 going down and the dolphins defense putting up a hotshit goose-egg. But every single one of his skill players put up double digits, with huge games from J-Jeff (27) and Dameon Pierce (25.9). Schmaus might have had an early advantage, but Aaron Rodgers is not the QB he used to be (also has no receivers) and Schmaus' running backs leave something serious to be desired.
Sean Paul's Naughty Shawties (112.78) v Losing Season, Drinking Reason (102.2)
Thought this game was going to be more high scoring than this, but both teams had some hiccups they had to overcome. 1.1 from Dortsch and 9.6 from Dalvin could have sunk him in another matchup, but Camm was able to get big numbers from Burrow, Kelce, and Jamaal Williams to keep his team afloat. Gordo got decent numbers from Herbiue and Mike Evans catching two tuddies on Sunday night. But other than that, only his defense and kickers were able to put up double digits, sinking him by 10 points. Jonathan Taylor definitely is not the fantasy player he used to be.
Dawson's Zeke (121.22) v WRs Win Championships (96.18)
He fucking did it folks. He broke the 17 game (I think) losing streak. His entire team might not have popped off, but his RBs (Ekeler and Miles and Miles Sanders) finally had HUGE games to go with his consistent producers in Josh Allen and Ceedee. Kyler put up numbers as he always does even though he looks like a child playing football out there. But if your team is built on wrs, they need to be able to put up 15 a week in half ppr. Sure, his rb's put up double digits surprisingly, but 17.8 points as the top score from his skill players in Marquise Brown is not something anyone should envy.
Power Rankings
This week I'm doing 1 sentence reviews for each team.
1) Dawson's Zeke (1-3): Finally got his win, #1 in the rankings and in our hearts.
2) Sean Pauls Naughty Shawties (4-0): Consistent team and sneaking out wins week by week, looks set for the playoffs again.
3) Non-Fungible Team (4-0): Carried by Hurts, Robby is taking advantage of an easy early schedule to stay undefeated.
4) Fuck You Cammarn Vol.2 (3-1): Snaked a win from the snake, My Raven's stack and WR depth look to carry me far this season.
5)Brother Decotis Lives (3-1): Mahomes and some of the best wideouts in the league keeping this team hot, TE and RB depth could be an issue later on in the season.
6) Martin's Sweat Box (3-1): Great position players (J-Jeff needs to keep being a god), but QB issues could be a problem.
7) Snake Island Serpentines (3-1): Still sitting pretty for now, but this team lives and dies with Stefon Diggs.
8) Orchids of Asia (1-3): Team looks great on paper, but needs to make moves at RB cause his boys are not it.
9) Losing Season, Drinking Reason (1-3): Jonathan Taylor is garbage, and the rest of Gordo's team does not look like it has the gas to bring him back to promenance.]
10) WRs Win Championships (1-3): His trade offers are getting more ridiculous, kid is floundering.
11) Return of the Fupa Party (0-4): His team might be dog shit and injured af, but at least he can score 100 points once in a while?
12) Team Coughlin (0-4): Lucky if he scores more than 60 per week.
Still early, but the seperation between the top and bottom is already showing itself. Teams with one or less wins need to make things happen if they wanna close the gap, or else the top 6 are gonna coast into the playoffs. Fuck you all and as always, Fuck You Cammarn (Vol.2).
Week 5 Matchups
Mesh v Tuna
Robby v Jackson
Schmaus v Marty
Camm v Meg
Ira v Trevor
Payton v Gordo
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