22/23 Week 7 Recap

 

Apologies gents, had a busy couple of weeks but write-ups are back in action as we hit the midway point of the season. Still one undefeated team and two that are woefully defeated, but one will reign supreme for at least a week as we get the fantasy event we've all been waiting for: THE MOTHERFUCKING DUMPSTER BOWL. I'll do a v quick recap of the games this week before getting to power rankings and looking ahead at the matchups this week.

Orchids of Asia (103.26) v Fuck You Cammarn Vol.2 (76.9)

Shit weeks for the Ravens and Keenan Allen still hurt couldn't get me a win, shoutout to 24 points from the Tennessee D to give Schmaus the win.

Schmaus' Defense annihilating me

Sean Paul's Naughty Shawties (127.04) v Non-Fungible Team (91.16)

Shawties reign supreme again with a vicious performance from Daddy Burrow. Decent points all around for Rob but too many low scorers to carry him over the line.

Naughty Shawties dancing to 7-0

Brother Decotis Lives (130.14) v Dawson's Zeke (73.5)

Mahomie and Josh Jacobs are monsters, and it doesn't help that Ira started a hurt QB.

Ira starting Jameis this week

Snake Island Serpentines (137.5) v The Hospital (91.88)

Another week, another name change for Payton. Jamarr balled and Aaron Jones looked like a WR but Ken Walker is looking like a stud and Dallas D played the lions. Easy recipe for success for Snackson.

Payton thought he had a chance

Losing Season, Drinking Reason (97.52) v Rebuilding the Fupa (84.1)

Rebuild is going poorly, a goose-egg from Doubs doesn't help things. But Gordon sees the light at the top of the dumpster as he got solid performances all around. 

Another live look at the Fupa party

Martin's Sweat Box (123.94) v Team Coughlin (103.2)

Holy shit Meg put up 100 points. But even though he had some big scorers, pretty much everyone on Trev's team put up double digits. Another sad day for Megan.

Surprise Meg, 100 points wont secure you a win

POWER RANKINGS

On this weeks edition, we look at the prodigal son of each team, someone who was primed for greatness at draft and hasn't performed as of yet, but if they do their owners might have a shot at the Dr. Richard Dawg Memorial Trophy this season. 

1. Sean Paul's Naughty Shawties (7-0): Amon-Ra St.Brown- Yes I know the Lions suck, but maybe if Jared Goff has someone to throw to and the Sun God can return to his pre-injury heights, Camm might go undefeated before flaming out of the playoffs yet again.

2. Martin's Sweat Box (6-1): Any wideout other than Jefferson- He might have one of the best wideouts in the league, but unless someone else steps up (idk if he even has any of the receivers he drafted), he might not have the depth to sustain a deep playoff run.

3. Brother Decotis Lives (5-2): Devonta Smith- Devonta has had some hug games this year but his overall production has been lacking. If Jalen can stop running up the score in the first half, Devonta might have chances to make some big plays later in the season.

4. Snake Island Serpentines (5-2): Tom Brady- Divorce doesn't look so great on TB12, but he's the greatest to ever do it, is it dumb to think he might break out towards the end of the season? If he can come back strong then this team could be V scary.

5. Fuck You Cammarn Vol.2 (4-3): Keenan Allen- I thought I had dope depth and two weeks later im scrambling. But one thing that can help me over the line is Allen coming back from injury after the bye to be the reliable receiver he once was. 

6. Orchids of Asia (4-3): Chris Godwin- Nice three game winning streak pulled out for Schmuas, but he needs the Bucs offense and Godwin to get moving again to have a real shot of making a statement in the playoffs.

7. Non-Fungible Team (4-3): Leonard Fournette- Big Boi Lenny can't keep scuking if Rob wants to get to the playoffs, like a few other teams they just need the Bucs offense to look good again before they can feel really good about their teams. And Tom is washed soooooo...

8. The Hospital (3-4): Michael Carter- This spot could've gone to Pitts but RBs are much more important in the grand scheme of things and Payton doesn't really have any. The Breece injury should open up space for Carter to thrive, but only time will tell.

9. Losing Season, Drinking Reason (2-5): Mike Evans- Yes again. Another Bucs player primed for a great season only to shit the bed cause the Bucs. Seeing a trend here?

10. Dawson's Zeke (2-5): Not shooting himself in the foot- Im sorry Schmi, but you have left too many points on the bench in crucial games and started a hurt QB last week.

11. Rebuilding the Fupa (0-7): Christian McCaffrey: Hopefully the trade to San Fran will give him some juice but who fucking knows at this point.

12. Team Coughlin (0-7): Najee Harris- Has looked like shit because the Steelers look like shit, prolly the worst first round pick of the season.

GREASY GRUMBLE GAMBLING GROTTO

With the dumpster bowl this week, I decided to have some fun because we all love gambling, and therefore I am giving you props and lines for all of the matchups, bet between each other as you will and I hope we all lose oodles and boodles of money this week.

Dumpster Bowl: Meg v Marty

What we've all been waiting for. Things could shake out in their favor as the season rolls on but never in my life would I have thought we would get to this shit game. Meg has been making moves but I still think Marty's the favorite here. FUPA -8

Rivalry Game of the Week: Mesh v Camm

Camm vs Fuck you Camm, maybe I can sneak one out here. But Camm has a better team and is undefeated, just need the Bucs to suck tonight for my Ravens stack to go off. Sean Paul -6 & O/U 239.5

Tony The Tiger Sun Bowl: Robby v PayPay

Can Jalen Hurts will Robs team to a victory? He might have a better record but Payton's team looks a little more dangerous. Could have severe implications for the bottom of the playoffs in the second half of the season. Hospital -2

Alabama vs a team that gets payed to play them: Tuna v Gordo

Gordo found a good bye week to play Tuna but other than Chris Olave, this team is missing a sever IT factor. And Tuna has one of the best WR corps in our league. Brother Decotis -12

Primetime Game of the Week: Trevor v Jackson

Two teams at the top of the ladder going at it, this should be fun. Jackson has made some good pickups but Trevor has 3 RBs with that dog in them so he is clearly the favorite here. (Game script wont favor Jackson and Diggs when the Bills eat the Packers alive). Sweat Box -6 & O/U 264.5

Horrible TNF: Schmaus vs Ira 

Schmuas might have popped off a few wins but it remains to be seen if his team is good enough to sustain a playoff run. But Ira's team look like babies other than Josh Allen so who knows what'll happen. Prop Bets On Neither Team Scoring 110

The games are getting spicier as the season goes on but there seems to be a real race for the bottom half of playoffs. But we still have half a season to go so game on you cuckbois. Fuck you all and as always Fuck You Cammarn (Vol.2).