23/24 Week7 Recap
Week 7 Recap
We're halfway done boys, and its been going decent for most of the teams in the league at least. But we have dumpster babies now, who have been hanging in the trash for a couple of week now with no one to come claim them. The race to avoid hotdogs has actually been more interesting than the top of the standings this year, but we're getting to the back half of the season, which means playoffs are well within sight. The slog is well and truly starting, strap in boys.
P.S. Commissionerly Thangs
Will come up with a comprehensive list of things to vote on or talk about concerning the league i the next week or two
Fucking pay me
Trade Deadline is Dec 1 @ 1AM MST
We mozy...
2019 All Pros (110.56) v Fuck You Cammarn Vol.2 (101.6)
A battle of the best teams got a little weird. Both teams had their stars shining, but man the rest of teams were questionable. And god was I hoping for a snap count for McCaffrey. Starting Deshaun was a horrible decision by me, with him literally throwing a pick and going off injured. Add in Brett Maher, who got me 0 and literally got cut as I'm typing this. Schmaus got a goosegg from Kmet and -7 from his Lions D, but Mahomes being one of the highest scorers in the week set him on a course for victory.
Trust the Process (113.28) v Scared of the FUPA (98.66)
Camm might think he's back after being the highest scorer on the shitiest day of fantasy football ever. But he might be clouded by the fact that he beat bottom-feeding Robby, who's gamble on the Falcons came back to bite him in the ass again. Bijan not playing hurt badly, as Rob looked like he would've had a chance if Bijan's tummy didn't hurt. But Camm had a whopping 33 from Lamar, doing just enough to recover from his D and kicker deficiencies.
Brother Decotis Lives (89.86) v Dawson's Zeke (86.76)
Ruthless move by Tuna to bench his D, but gotta do what you gotta do to secure the dub. Poor Ira, his team kept steam this week with the help of a powerful Ettiene performance on Thursday. Jalen had a solid showing as well to guide the Eagles (I'll hold off on my screams about officiating for another day) to the best record, and performances by Puka and Pittman helped Tuna get right in striking distance for the dub. Ira finally got something out of Najee and Courtland but it was too late for him (and their teams too, probably).
3 Kids 1 Nut (98.28) v OceanGate's Deepwater Gaurdians (79.14)
EVen with Foreman's 31.5, Payton still couldn't find a way to break 100, but it doesn't matter when your opponent's best player scored 13. Not a great showing for anyone on Jackson's team. Even with Purdy's abysmal Monday night performance, Payton had this matchup locked up with Foreman and 20 from Mark Andrews decimation of the Lions D. Ekeler's return hasn't had the impact that Jackson hoped it would.
Losing Season, Drinking Reason (104.26) v Brian Kellys Fupa (97.66)
A close matchup for the pretenders' with Gordon pulling out the victory with 20 point performances from Gus Edwards and Waller (fucking finally, Tyrod QB1 in New York). But it's TSwift's FUPA now. Her arrival at the Fupa Party shocked everybody (Brian Kelly the most) and has been doing her white woman witchcraft to make Kelce one of the best players in fantasy recently. But 30 from Kelce can't help you if Geno Smith is your next highest scorer, Marty better hope the rest of his team gets popstar girlfriends.
Martins Sweat Box (112.6) v Losers Bracket Champ (107.02)
This one came down to the wire holy hell. EVen with admirable performances from Kamara and the Browns D, Kirk Thuggin's heroics couldn't pull off the late upset for Megan. The rest of his team played decently, but a 1.1 from Gabe Davis might've sunk him in the end. Trev on the other hand got great performances from Josh Allen and all of his skill players, navigating a path to victory even with him gettin 1 from the usually solid Bills D. He's not a dumpster baby anymore ladies and gents.
POWER RANKINGS
This week I'm describing every team with 1 word.
1. 2019 All Pros (Schmaus), 6-1
Thriving- Team doesn't look perfect (WRs look suspect), but with Taylor climbing back to form to go along with Mahomes and McCaffrey, he stays scary.
2. Fuck You Cammarn Vol.2 (Kamesh), 5-2
Cautious- My WR's should still make me optimistic, but only if I'm able to navigate injuries and bye weeks.
3. Losing Season, Drinking Reason (Gordo), 5-2
Nervy- Talent aside, he should be worried about the touchdown potential for each of his position players. Scoring 100 every week will only get you so far.
4. Martin's Sweat Box (Trevor), 3-4
Horny- 3 straight wins and the sky is the limit for the highest scoring team in the league.
5. 3 Kids, 1 Nut (Payton), 4-3
Greasy- Has been able to sneak wins even without Kupp, his receiving corps is savage. But can the rest of his team keep pace to grant him those greasy wins?
6. Brian Kellys Fupa (Marty), 4-3
Sweaty-Head is still above water and Kelce is playing like a first round pick should. But the rest of the team has definite bust potential, Marty should feel worried.
7. Brother Decotis Lives (Tune), 3-4
Targeted- Most points against even for a team of this caliber, fantasy gods hate you rn Dan. But their Tune (heh) can quickly change from disastrous to fortuitous (just ask Trevor).
8. OceanGate's Deepwater Gaurdians (Jackson), 4-3
Teetering- Decent team on paper, but his receiving corps cant stay consistent week to week. And Ekeler not being normal Ekeler doesn't help either.
9. Trust the Process (Camm), 3-4
Overconfident- Thinks his team is primed for a playoff run after all of his moves, but he might just be riding the high of having an actual TE on his team again.
10. Losers Bracket Champ (Meg), 2-5
Indignant- He should feel like the entire world is against him even with a decent team, but he needs tuddies to win games, something his players haven't delivered consistently.
11. Scared of the FUPA (Robby), 2-5
Sour- Arthur Smith is a dolt and Rob is paying. Alot of his players with preseason hype just haven't panned out, let's raise a glass to Robs 2024 Falcons stack.
12. Dawson's Zeke (Ira), 1-6
Hungry- Bad luck has kept Ira at the bottom of the rankings and closer to 9 hotdogs.
Not much else to say that hasn't already been said. I'm excited to see how the standings and rankings shuffle before the season ends. It's now or never boys, time to show your worth and show that your trash team deserves the chip this year. Fuck you all and as always, Fuck You Cammarn (Vol.2).
Week 8 matchups
Kamesh v Camm
Schmaus v Ira
Payton v Robby
Tuna v Gordo
Jackson v Trevor
Marty v Meg
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