Week 8 Recap
Well let me be the first to say that fantasy football is terrible and i hate it here (Vol.1). Is hope ultimately our greatest downfall? Do we get a glimmering feeling that keeps us invested in this self-sabotoging practice of watching people payed millions of dollars just to be terrible about their jobs and make the masses feel worse for it? Or is it the ultimate dream of glory over our friends, the eternal right to whisper horrid truths into each others ears for eons to come, what fuels our fire? Idk but everyones dead and my team is ass. Its usually around this week where I start losing faith in the fantasy gods and start becoming feral with my rants. Giants are top of the division but at what cost? Well actually Skattebo's head and potentially my fantasy hopes if they trade for JT. But much like the ebb and flow of fantasy blood spilt from week to week, the gods also provide as much as they take (sometimes). Trevor and Megatron win and slowly start to crawul up the walls of the dumpster, but theres quite a few of us about to fall in so hotdogs are well and truly about to get spicy.
Week 8 Matchups
Dobby Parton's Final Glizzy Tour (118.38) v I Hate it Here Vol.1 (111)
Trevor got out with the win thanks to that Rachaad White tuddy on SNF. It was a back to back matchup throughout though, with Higgins keeping his team of solid scorers rolling to the win. My team on the other hand had Pollard and Michael Wilson going off but with the shitshow that was the bucs game (I blame you Camm) I had no shot with Pitts and Egbuka's backup doing absolutely nothing, winning would've been luck that I havent had much of this season.
Win #2 got Trev feeling Nicey
CaMaRAN (107.2) v WalknWaddle on meJohnson (76.96)
Welp looks like the 6th round Aubrey pick worked out because he's usually on of the higher scorers on his team. On paper the team looks great but outside of the first couple of weeks, his WR's have not looked up to par. Kenneth Walker can only get you so far. Meg just needed to cross 100 and his team was able to back him up for once even with Cooper getting a goosegg as soon as anyone played him. Maybe with Puka back to releveance there is some hope for Meg going forward but his week was definitely a step in the right direction.
Win #2 got Meg feeling Nicey
3 Kids 1 Nut (104.98) v Dr. Omalu's Future Patients (87.64)
The bucs not throwing a pass this week should've spelled beautiful spoils for Jake this week but the rest of his team couldn't match Bucky's production except for his kicker, defense, and TJ Hockensen somehow. Payton got a big game from Swift to help the rest of his team get over the line with a few people like Caleb and Kyren getting double digits to carry him across the finish line.
Payton watching daaaaaaa Bears
Garcinia Cambogia (116.16) v Richard Dog's 9 Dog Demise (87.9)
Gordo need a qb. It's almost impossible to beleive that he hurt himself on his first pass after fucking Gordon for week prior, but hey at least before Lamar was on the fucking bench. And Drake London scored a point. Chris got a good showing from Josh Allen obviously but also some good performances from most of his team to secure a win and to cover the fact that he doesnt have an actual TE. Doesn't matter, Chris goes marching.
All of Chris's hopes might rest on this man
Assistant Shadow Comissioner (128.76) v Stairway to Evans (103.44)
Robby's doing it again, somehow winning with just spot starting backup running back all season and hoping for some luck. Shit more luck than my goddamn starters. He's a vulture waiting for backups to vulture. But hey maybe Josh Jacobs will go to Goodell jail and spare us all. He gets the win this week to crawl out if the dumpster with big games from Drake "Drake Maye" Maye, Jacobs, and the alien that is JSN. Schmaus was able to get big games from Mahomey and the bucws D (lol) but not enough help everywhere else to keep him int he mix.
Robby and Golden dont need no hands to win
Release the Shubert Files (141.78) v Dobby Loves My Conkey (125.5)
Our shootout of the week, Joe Burrows 40 was able to gloss over the double goosegg from Tre Tucker and Zay to deliver him a win. And who needs WRs when you have Gibbs and the ascendent star that is big baby Bayshal. Marty should feel annoyed as he likely would've beaten most other teams this week, but ius seriously running out of RB options. He needs to hope that some of these players take this week as inspiration because he scored way better than he has all season.
Live look at Martinez
Power Rankings Dankings
1. Release the Shubert Files, 7-1 (Camm)
Well he's got his regular season record stunting still. Solid RB core but not much for WRs (Jacoby is a TE merchant, sorry Zay). But even then he sits with the best record. Does that mean he is lucky, he actually has the best team, or does everyone's team have holes? Guess time will tell.
2. 3 Kids, 1 Nut, 5-3 (Payton)
Bears heating up means Paypay is heating up. And his WR's are awesome but Jeanty is pay-dirt dependent so we will see if that and Kyren losing his job hurt him in the end. But we know he's a grease so know he's cooking up some terrible trades for the second half of the season and praying JT gets traded for the Shane McGowan ascension.
3. Garcinia Cambogia, 6-2 (Chris)
Idk with this team man. Record speaks for itself, and he has some stars on paper, but with the Ravens offense likely taking a hit and JJettas getting fucked by KOC again, it really feels like Josh Allen went to jail and is just cobbling together characters for The Longest Yard 3.
4. Assistant Shadow Commissioner, 4-4 (Ronby)
He kinda did it again with his 0 RB strategy but his team seems more boom or bust this season. Well especially cause Jacobs could get the death penalty on any day now. Or not who knows the NFL will prolly cover it up. JSN is a monster but he need ths rest of his team (besides Olave) to step up with some consistency.
5. Dr. Omalu's Future Patients, 5-3 (Jackson)
Jackson will ride Goff and his two headed RB monster of Bucky and JT to the moon. Nico Collins and Pickens look great on paper but they just have not been consistent producers, can he keep up his winning record on the back half of the year?
6. Richard Dog's 9 Dog Demise, 4-4 (Gordo)
Ouch dude. Lamar is dead and that is definitely gonna hurt his chances of making a second half comeback. But hey McAffrey is still a stud so he just has to hope that the Jets and Falcons don't suck on any given week. But, like alot of NFL teams this year, I cannot get a pulse and definitely say those teams and offenses suck but London and Garret Wilson aren't lost causes yet. Maybe. Falcons are great in primetime. Idfk.
7. Stairway to Evans , 4-4 (Schmaus)
Schmau's bench literally looks like a hospital. AJ Brown, Mike Evans, David Montgomery, Monongai, Kamara, all dead. He's got Trey Mcbride and Bijan but they cant shoulder the load every week (see above: Falcons are only hot in primetime). This is a team that might seriously need to consider some trades if he wants to make it to the postseason.
8. I Hate it Here Vol.2, 3-5 (Mesh)
I can't catch a break but can also certify that I am an idiot with the amount of points I leave on my bench because I'm panicking. Cook, Ceedee, and for some fucking reason Tony Pollard, are all studs, and with Purdy off the bye I'm just praying some luck finds me cause I can't keep scoring above 100 and losing while people are getting wins with 80 points.
9. Dobby Loves My Conkey, 3-5 (Marty)
Another team that cant catch a break he scored 120 and lost last week. Much like myself, Marty can only hope that luck swings his way, because he has some damn good players in Jamaar, Nabers, and Chubba. They all score pretty well, just never all on the same week (except this week).
10. WalknWaddle on meJohnson, 3-5 (Donby)
Spot starting QB's is never a good spot to be in, and even Kenneth Walker can't save this team. He has 3 WRs who are sexy in name only, Parker Washington, Tet (okay, he was very sexy Week 4), and Waddle. But they are not getting him point and KW3 coming down to earth a bit leaves him panicking slightly.
11. Dobby Partons Final Glizzy Tour, 2-6 (Trevor)
A win definitely made him feel good until Meg won too. Same issue as Marty, his team just cant always put it together on the same week, but hey he has some players, and if Saquon can return to any sort of relevance then he might make it out of the dumpster.
12. CaMaRAN, 2-6 (Tron)
Hey a win is definitely helpful in his quest to avoid dawgs. But the undisputed preseason favorite (according to only him and the trash ESPN rankings). Waiver wire isn't as bountiful as it was last season, but seems like him and Puka at least have enough bandwidth to give him a swinging chance.
Butker v Tucker
The hotdog race has alot more participants than in previous years, and there's some people sweating, and not just the bottom dwellers outside of the playoff race currently. Dogs are only a few losses away, and these next couple of weeks are gonna be real fesity when it comes to hotdogs. And not only that, the playoffs could be decided by just a bad week from one player on a strong team. But shit is about to get spicy, cant wait to see everyone shitty team implode. Fuck you all and as recently, I hate it here (Vol.1).
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